Letter from Kate
Dear Dena
Hello Dena! Thanks for opening your work up to us in this way. I find that my writing changes given my mood and the demands of the day. I am in a period of transition in my life currently. I am searching for that right time, right place and right path forward. I am currently contemplating sending in my resignation for the end of June to move to Lillooett—all without a job there… at 57 years. This is for sure a jump of grace!
Again, thank you for offering this opportunity. With gratitude, Kate.
click on letter at left to enlarge
Dear Kate
Sometime ago I e-mailed you for another Dear Dena asking for a question about your contemplated move, but received no answer. You would get much more out of it if you did, and also much sooner. Perhaps you have already made the move and are deep in getting settled, and understandably too busy. Since you have no question about your move, I suppose you simply wish some comments, so here goes:
The first thing I notice is of course the change in slant. The first part is predominantly upward – objective mood, business-like, stating a fact. The next part is right slanted (opening up emotionally to people, being responsive). The last sentence is upright again (a business-like ending for a letter. Finally, it slants again to the right when you speak from your heart.
If you already made the move, you have what it takes: enthusiasm, strong confidence and will power to make long range goals (strong, long, high on stem t-bars), and good determination to see them through to fruition (long down-strokes on “g” and “y”).
You don’t say what your work is, but you certainly have ability in the artistic and cultural areas (printed capitals, Greek “e” and “s”), but you could also run a business or organization—perhaps one connected with cultural endeavors; you’re intelligent with an analytical and investigative mind (angular and rounded “m” and “n”), intuitive (breaks between letters), diplomatic (tapering letters), decisive (firm word endings), and persistent when necessary (lasso loop in “A”). And you are completely open and honest (no loops or hooks in any “o” or “a”). There is a temper tic on the capital “I”, which means you see yourself as having a temper. But there are no signs of it in the rest of the handwriting, so it seems it is only your view of yourself.
Your faults? Got to have some faults… You’re a little too sensitive to criticism (loop on “d”); you resent someone or something (inflexible beginning stroke on the “c” in “currently”, “contemplating”) and you have rejected someone close, or feel rejected by someone close (lower loop of “f” in “find” ends far left), and you may be taking on too many projects at once (lower loops dangling into line below).
So how did I do? Would love some feed-back. All the best, Dena.
Letter from Female 59
Dear Dena
Thank you for your e-mail in regards to my letter. I was concerned about my 34 year old son and his health. (I’m not a psychic and requested another Dear Dena with a question.)
I have now met my 39-year-old son that I had given up for adoption when I was twenty. It was a wonderful meeting. He is so much like my other two sons in looks and mannerisms. We had a wonderful time together and are at the beginning of a new relationship. My concern is that I can be overwhelming at times and I don’t want him to feel that I am trying to make up for lost time too quickly. He wants a relationship and is open for it. He has little to no connection with his adoptive family.
Do you have any suggestions on how I can handle my desire to rush in and smother him with love!—female 59
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Dear Female 59
You are very people oriented and demonstrative (mostly right to far right slant), so setbacks can make you moody—sometimes wanting to be close, (little space between “rush” and “in”, “I” and “can”, and “I” and “had”); at other times wanting and needing to be alone—(abnormally large spaces between “how I can handle my desire to rush”).
Your intelligent mind analyzes and investigates (sharp angular “m” and “n”) and could be in conflict with your emotions, causing some pessimism (drooping of some word endings in “health”, “mannerisms”, “relationship”, “concern”, “is”, and “female”).
You have suppressed some feeling over the years (squeezed together letters in “wonderful”, “together”, and “relationship” and “female”) and have repressed others (retraced “h”)—so that in communication you may come across as evasive (hooks in “a”), secretive (right loop in “o”)—perhaps insincere (tapering of words).
Something from your past is still playing out in your life today, just waiting for your buttons to be pressed. The clue is in the word “and” in the third line (the inflexible beginning stroke begins way below the line, meaning from childhood)—a feeling of not being appreciated when you give so much of yourself to others. This resentment stroke is seen all over the page, (especially noticeable in the key word “adoption”) and the second last sentence. So you might be a bit defensive, perhaps critical at times (resentment stroke plus analytical thinking).
I think you are overly optimistic (higher upward slant than your previous letter which was merely optimistic.) And yes, you have a tendency to smother. You feel the need to do and give to others (generous endings to words) without thinking the person may not want what you wish them to take or they may not want to go somewhere or do something your particular way (many down-slanting t-bars).
How to handle your desire to “smother” him with love? Put on the brakes. Take it slowly. Your son is already 39 and if he has a serious female relationship, he would resent what to them may be “intrusion” on your part. Yours is a very sensitive, delicate relationship. Take your time to get to know him, remember to respect his boundaries, and you’ll be alright. Good luck!
Letter from Julie
Dear Dena
My father passed away two years ago. He was emotionally and verbally abusive to Mom and me, but intelligent and charming to his friends and acquaintances.
Sometimes when I go for a walk or take a break from my work, I have a memory flash of a time he was hurtful to Mom and me. Can you tell from my writing if this is healthy and healing, a natural part of the healing process, or perhaps indicative of a need to seek counseling?
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Dear Julie
You’re a warm and caring person (rounded “m” and “n”) with traditional values (school taught capitals), who can be responsive to people you trust (right slants)—but who has difficulty being demonstrative with others (slow, careful writing)—afraid of being hurt emotionally (many left slants), repressing some emotions (retraced “m” and “h”) and keeping others in check (upward slant)—thus appearing moody (variable slants) to some people.
On some subjects you’re open and honest (clear “a” and “o”), on others very close-mouthed (retraced “a” and “o”), or very secretive (large right loop on “a” and “o”).
You don’t say what kind of work you do, but you have great manual dexterity (flat topped “r”). With your imaginative ideas (large lower loops) you’d be good teaching arts and crafts for children, especially with your sense of humor (beginning stroke on “m”). Whatever you do, you do carefully and thoroughly, and you would work well with others.
You have an independent mind (short “t” and “d” stems) and choose not to have great expectations or high standards for yourself—feeling practically insignificant (tiny capital “I” in fifth line compared to other capitals). Not wishing to go out of your comfort zone, you lack firm goal-setting for after tomorrow and the future (t-bar placed for day by day goals on a short stem, with dominant middle zone writing).
Though your determination is very good (firm and long down-strokes on “y” and “g”), your willpower is weak (very light t-bars in “emotionally”, “healthy” and “indicative”); too often you lack confidence (very low t-bar in “but”, “hurtful”, and “healthy”)—to the point of giving up (concave t-bar in “but”, “intelligent”, and “this”).
Perhaps you need to use your defiance (buckle on “k”) and stubbornness (wedge in “t-stem”) to assert yourself more (in a nice way) and gain back some self-esteem—not that anyone took it—you yourself gave it away.
As for your question… Your own unconscious is revealing your real feelings. The word after the large space after “ago” is “He was”—(in case you somehow wonder if perhaps you exaggerate that he was verbally and emotionally abusive). Also look at the second to last line; the word after the large space after “perhaps” is “indicative”—meaning you paused—unconsciously fearing it was indicative. You don’t particularly like delving into the past with soul searching (larger left margin than right), but it seems you also feel a need to clear up that part of your life; it seems to be holding you from going forward.
My advice: It wouldn’t hurt to get some good psychological counseling. You could also practice placing a t-bar high and strong on the stem thirty times a night for thirty nights. It will gradually make you feel stronger, more confident in making goals. All the best to you!
