Time Alone

The other day I was speaking with some friends about how much of a recluse I become once I am back at my home on Gabriola Island.

“I find it so hard to imagine you as a recluse,” one of them said, “you’re so friendly, always talking to people, putting on seminars and such.”

“I guess that’s why I’m a recluse when I get home,” I said.

As I sit at my desk reliving this conversation, it reminds me of a different one I had years ago with another friend. It was a discussion about spending time alone. I always felt the need to be around people and I filled every moment of every day with activity. Mostly work.

When I shared this information with my friend she said, “Are you kidding? I love being alone and I love my own company!”

Her statement struck a chord. I found as I delved into the reasons for filling my waking moments, the list was long. After all, if I kept busy I didn’t have to deal with losses that pulled at my heart, I didn’t have to face personal and work issues that I’d shuffled into a corner and, more importantly, I didn’t have to deal with some of the traits I’d taken on that really didn’t resonate within my soul. I didn’t know if I could ‘love my own company’.

Fortunately, a great deal of ‘alone time’ was handed to me on a crystal platter. After an initial struggle, I began to enjoy and embrace all that I’d been avoiding. Now that my mind wasn’t stretched in every direction, I found time to savour unique memories. Those issues I’d shuffled away no longer seemed impossible to handle. And with increased candour in my life, I’ve found that I’m enjoying spending more and more time with me. Yes…I’ve learned to love my own company.

It’s so easy to get on that treadmill of busy-ness and not take the time to learn to love the most important person in our lives: ourselves. But when we do so, oh how rich becomes our love of others.